Krönika: Scared if I do, scared if I don’t

There’s so much we take for granted, and even more people that we take for granted, but for what really? To feel guilty about it when they’re gone? What’s the point when you can’t express yourself in whatever way there is you want to? If you feel your emotions too much, if you barely feel them or if it depends? Why shouldn’t you be able to feel all that without having to think about what people might say? 

If you got friends that don’t support you, aren’t encouraging you, is that really the type of people you should be around? Life’s short and so fragile, but somehow we still manage to think that we got all the time in the world. Which we don’t. Time isn’t promised, there’s nothing promised but death. Yet again, people still manage to live in their fears their whole lives just because they never let themselves be passionate about it. Let themselves feel that they might succeed, and then actually fall. However, your wound might turn out into a scar, a lesson or in disaster. That’s your experience to share. That’s something you did and there’s nothing no one should be able to say or do that’d change that experience for you. Demand your right, your story and your loss or gain. It’s just yours to tell. What’s the worst thing that could ever happen? You embarrass yourself? Make a fool out you yourself? Is that really the worst? During this corona-pandemic people lose their jobs, homes, family members and all you think about is that no one will support your dream? And that’s out of the people you know? Imagine all these incredible people you haven’t met yet? Or complete strangers that see the vision you’re trying to share? Aren’t those real? 

The key to success is to fail, fail and then fail again. Because at the end you’ll learn so much about it, and yourself? The strength you’ve gained and the wisdom you can share with others? What’s holding you back? If not you? I’ve been writing short novels, stories, poems and what not. No one close to me knew that. No one knew that’s a way I could express myself. And I didn’t even tell anyone when I submitted a text to KulturUngdom. And when I got admitted, I didn’t tell anyone. But then when my first work got published. From no one knowing, to published work. Might be a small step for the world, but a big step for me personally. Because that was the validation I needed, I didn’t seek it from my friends or family. I went and made sure everyone got to know in the best way possible. It's not like I haven't shared some few bits before, seeking validation. But that was to wrong people since the response never made me commit. They made me uncomfortable, made me feel like what I felt was too much, that the words I chose didn’t make sense. That made me stop writing for a while, since I felt ashamed in a way. But then again, I showed it to others after building up trust and by finally letting someone else read one. And that kept me going. Without me even realizing. I felt joy and it felt so meant to be, just because I showed it to the right person. 

So, what I’m saying is, if you ever feel misunderstood? You’re confiding to the wrong person; you’re letting someone else decide for you. It happens, we’re just humans so how are we supposed to know? Have patience and stay true to yourself. Nothing bad can come out of pursuing what you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the means for. 

What I can tell from all of this is that, whatever you’re feeling or hoping. Commit, make it happen, and let it be a lesson. There’s tons of books that provide different methods, law of attraction, the secret, the subtle art of not giving a **** and so on. But what can they give you that just you can give yourself? Discipline, hard work, blood sweat and tears and that joy when you’ve done it. No matter the outcome, that wave of joy when it hits you. That’s what you’re doing it for. Your personal growth, your future, your sake. You, you and you. Make it about you, invest in you. Don’t make it about them. That’s not the goal, shouldn’t be your aim. Claim it and do all the things that scare you. What's more scarier than being scared? Missing out on all the good things because you’re scared...